A law school classmate, let’s call him “Blaine,” sent me one of those stupid Christian chain letters, the kind with 200 people on the cc list, one that asks in broken, hyperventilating Engrish, Christian readers to support Dr. James Dobson in stopping some petition to the FCC–
“Their petition, Number 2493, would ultimately pave the way to stop the reading
of the gospel of our Lord and Savior, on the airwaves of America. They got 287,000 signatures to back their stand! If this attempt is successful, all Sunday worship services being broadcast on the radio or by television will be stopped. This group is also campaigning to remove all Christmas programs and Christmas carols from public schools! ! You as a Christian can help!
We are praying for at least 1 million signatures. This would defeat their effort and show that there are many Christians alive, well and concerned about our country. As Christians, we must unite on this. Please don’t take this lightly. We ignored one lady once and lost prayer in our schools and in offices across the nation.”
It goes on to they beg you to add your name to this stupid list and forward the email on to others. Goddamned religious Amway this is.
Blaine is a guy I went to law school with. Good ole boy, smooth, slick, good w/ women, about 45 by now, used to be a “bad boy,” play in rock band, several marriages, etc.–finally “found Jesus” and settled down.
I told him, “Blaine, I love you, but jesus, if I get an email from you every 17 months, does it have to be this blue collar crap? Normie”
In his reply, he told me he was busy and in his new firm, he has a very smart attorney, who could maybe email me something next time.
My reply: “congrats on the new firm, sounds great. You should visit me on your next trip to Houston.
“As for these emails, it’s just beneath you. Aside from the religious aspects, it’s just the kind of email passed along by uneducated, illiterate, blue-collar, Oprah-watching, Amway-selling, cigarette smoking, Lake Charles gambling, NASCAR watching, Bush-voting, chain-letter passing, horoscope reading dumbasses with too much time on their hands. Not that I have any kind of opinion on it or anything. :)”
