Or do I repeat myself. I hate meetings. Drive me crazy. Take too long. People too slow. They don’t get to they want me there when I have no need to be there. They don’t get to the point. I often try to find ways to get out of them or make them less unproductive. I’ll pretend like I’m ducking out for a bathroom break and stay gone 20 minutes. Or I’ll bring in some material I need to review or a patent application I need to work on and do it while others drone on. Or I’ll clean out my cell phone text message in box or phone directory.
Sometimes I call my office number from my cell phone. This causes it to automatically call my cell phone 2 or 3 minutes later (I have it programmed to do this). So I answer the cell phone, acting like it’s an important business call, and duck out for 30 minutes.
A couple times I tried this: I’m in the office for a Saturday meeting that does not (in my nonbiased judgment) need my presense. I leave my yellow pad, pen, and coffee cup on the table and walk out. Everyone assumes I’m going to the bathroom. But I simply go to my car and leave. Unfortunately, then you leave a reminder that you are not there, that you never returned. They will razz you the next day — “Hey, I saw that coffee cup trick! you didn’t return!” But if you take you stuff with you when you leave, everyone sees you packing up and knows your intentions. Darn it, catch 22!
Another time-waster. For some reason people always plop down in my office to chat. People I don’t want to talk to. I stare at the ceiling and try to answer minimally, hoping they’ll just leave. I’ve taken to closing my door or even locking it so people have to knock. That sometimes scares bullshitters. A couple days ago a guy was in my office and was making small talk that drove me nuts. So I held my cell phone under the desk and dialed my office number. When my office phone rang, I put on a pained expression like, sorry to be unable to hear the ending to your story, and held up my hand and said, “sorry, gotta take this–” and they shuffle out.
Other tricks I use: I stand up and act like I need to go to the bathroom or get some coffee or something, and they walk out with me. Another trick: when I hear the voice of a frequent interloper outside the office, instead of sitting there and waiting for them to stop by my office next, I’ll duck out and head to the bathroom or coffee room, so I am not there when they would likely pass by.
