Roderick Long: Rothbard’s “Left and Right”: 40 Years Later

I like when things get too complicated.

To divide libertarians between Left and Right is too simple. I propose to further classify libertarians according to the chakra points of the Hindu tradition:

– Root libertarians
– Sacral libertarians
– Navel libertarians
– Heart libertarians
– Throat libertarians
– Third-eye libertarians
– Crown libertarians

This classification attemps not to tell you what part of their own body libertarians concentrate most of the time, rather what part of the body of another libertarian they plan to attack if an opportunity appears.

Tanslated in plain English:
– root libertarians will try to kick your ass
– sacral libertarians will attemp to kick your balls or punch your ovaries
– navel libertarians will aim to strike your abdomen
– heart libertarians will stab your chest or your side, to gain easier access to the heart
– throat libertarians watched Karate Kid many times, and will throw some form of nukite towards your throat
– third-eye libertarians will shoot right between the eyes, as they have watched all Clint Eastwood western movies at least ten times
– crown libertarians will smash your head with some massive tome

This is what may happen when libertarians abandon the non-aggresiom principle.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chakra#Description_of_each_chakra

If this is not enough to full describe all the nuances of XXI century libertarians, we could expand the classification for each of the 359 acupuncture points of Chinese medicine. And if that fails, we could combine each of those points with a 24-bit color given in a three-dimensional vector, plus some reference to a totemic animal. That should be enough to explain current libertarianism.