The Irreplaceable Jeff Tucker (Tucker’s Rules of Thumb for Living)

An oldie but a goodie…

• [Re: The Irreplaceable Jeff Tucker (Tucker’s Rules of Thumb for Living)
• The Irreplaceable Jeff Tucker
• “Go Left, he said”: How Jeff Tucker Saved My Life
• Re: The Irreplaceable Jeff Tucker (Tucker’s Rules of Thumb for Living)]

Re: The Irreplaceable Jeff Tucker (Tucker’s Rules of Thumb for Living)

Posted by Stephan Kinsella on June 17, 2005 12:19 PM

Re Woods’s post, the following is from a never-finished column… I might as well post it here now–

Tucker’s Rules of Life for Living

Over the past few years, I’ve started to collect various “rules of thumb” Jeff Tucker lays down from time to time in his articles and in private correspondence with me. While many are handy, even the ones I don’t agree with are interesting. Since I was unable to persuade him to distill his concise guide to life, I thought I would present a nutshell version.

• Music: Squirrel Nut Zippers. ‘Nuff said. (Jeff, that was not your best.)
• Clothes: “Clothes should not make the man; they should be the man.” (How To Dress Like a Man).
  • Formal dress. “A sports coat and trousers are the official uniform of a man who is just going about the business of life. When someone says, come casual!, this is what you wear.”
  • Older men. “A special note for older men: wear suits most or all of the time, and always ties. Ultimately, it is the only thing an older man looks good in.”
  • Shoes: “there are only two brands that qualify as quality shoes: Allen Edmonds and Alden. All others are junk.”
  • Pants: Shop at a thrift store, or Land’s End.
  • Short sleeves. “No short-sleeve “dress shirts” in public, ever!”
  • Ironing. “If you are not ironing, you are not dressing well.”
• Shaving: Shaving products are evil. Baby oil and hot water are heroic. Shaving gel turns “your into a tenderized chicken breast” (so it bleeds when you shave).
• Showering: Shower in the morning. Not in the evening. Period.
• Cars: Used only.
• The Delivery Room: CENSORED
• On Naming Children: When I was mulling over my baby’s name, Jeff observed drolly (to use a word you can only write, not say): “children should not be named like pets. Don’t flip through a book trying to find one you ‘like’. Choose a family name. Or at least, if you pick a name, pick one that sounds like it was in the family or pretend it was.” (paraphrasing) Of course, this reasoning, if followed consistently, would lead to an entire family all named Adams and Eves.
• On Teaching Children to Play Music: Start with violin at 3. They are not ready for piano until older. Avoid any instrument involving wind—trumpet, flute, etc.
• Exercise: “Do 30 pushups each morning. It’s your ticket to take a shower. No pushups, no shower.”
• Colds: Tucker’s 12-Hour Flu Cure (I’m a skeptic; tried it; no luck)
• Water: “your water heater is set at too low a temperature” (The Turn of the Screw)
• Websites: Use a news aggregator, like SharpReader. If you have a site, “If you do not provide a feed, you are slowly but surely becoming invisible” (The Quiet RSS Revolution).
  • Use FireFox browser instead of Internet Explorer. Period.
  • Use the Google Toolbar (or, for FireFox, the GoogleBar).
  • Use Google Desktop search.
  • Also, get a Favicon.
  • Use Google groups instead of Yahoo groups.
• Religion: Catholic. Period.

My wife thinks Tucker’s nuts, after that delivery room advice (which she did not let me follow). But I think he’s a lovable little fuzzball.

Re: The Irreplaceable Jeff Tucker (Tucker’s Rules of Thumb for Living)