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Picking on Israel–Matthew Bargainer

Great response by Bargainer to the Serioso libertarians. And my reply is reproduced below [note: my reply on HNN has been taken down; HNN editors apparently received complaints and asked me to cool it; The editor wrote me:

You have a lively style of writing, but you have repeatedly made belittling references to other people’s ethnic backgrounds.

This has to stop or you will be bounced.

Unacceptable are references to your “little group” or “clan- oriented types.”

and Beito asked for a cooling off period and is asking others too. As I remarked to both of them, my sarcasm is being equated with the outright libelous statements and personal attacks of others. My “little group” and “clan-oriented” types comments is not about others’ ethnic backgrounds; it’s worse–it’s meant to show I don’t give a damn about their little clans, and their attempt to impose their internal standards on a substantive libertarian issue is pointless. It’s their property so I’ll indeed cool it, but I hope that if I drop my sarcasm the other shits on the list stop their outrageous libels and character assassinations. It’s frankly getting old…]:

Mr. Sonnenworth,

Your calling someone “bigoted assholes” is not consistent with civilized discourse or with the rules of this forum.

I am not sure what exactly all this is about re Israel. When did this become about Israel? From what I can tell, you think anyone anti-Israel is anti-Semitic or, if Jewish, not a very good Jew. Whatever dude, I don’t know why you are trotting out your little club’s internal rules here (about who is a good Jew; or about the standards of pro-Israelis); I am not reciting to you the rules of Castle Risk, after all.

In any event, I have no idea what this has to do with libertarianism, which clearly has no positions on Israel or Judaism.

“Lew’s group of anti-Israel or anti-Semites or whatever the hell they are (I don’t care about labels)”

Interesting. Thanks for admitting that you and your fellow dimwit-serioso libertarians have totally corrupted and diluted the term “anti-semite” by your overuse and hypersensivite standards. For now you equate it with anti-Israel! Anti-Israel, anti-semite–what’s the difference, after all. I can just see your fellow Seriosos cringing, “shit! he just gave away our game!”

“Even your idiot comment “Hypersensitive Zionists”…shows you to be an insensitive idiot.”

Just curious–which is worse? To be insensitive, or an idiot?

“I guess those of us who don’t hate Israel are just overly sensitive to the smear campaigns of such luminaries as Alexander Cockburn, Raimondo, Sobran, Reese, Margolis, P.C. Roberts, and the list goes on…”

Sobran is not an Israel hater. Only dimwit-Serioso libertarians think so.

“Does Lew have Jewish columnists? Yep. His partner in his venture is Bert Blumert. Does that prove Lew is no anti-Semite? Maybe.”

No one needs to “prove” anything to you. Who are you, some unimpeachable Grand Inquisitor? Sorry, but we are not playing your game anymore.

“But as of late, all I read is one article after another, on the ones that do mention Israel, by the likes of the bunch above, i.e. there is nothing but the most vicious words against Israel.”

I actually am not interested in that Israel-Jew stuff. I skip most of it. Only Israel stuff on LRC that I’m aware of is my column New Israel: A Win-Win-Win Proposal, which is of course not anti-semitic. It proposes relocating all Israelis to Utah. I got tons of hate mail from real anti-semites. Unfortunately, calling these people anti-semites means nothing nowadays since you Serioso types have totally diluted the term by overusing it. Hell, if the mailman delivers your mail late, he’s an anti-semite. Yawn.

“More pieces lately…defending the Poles as defenders of freedom, not the collaborators in Auschwitz.”

I visited Dachau about 15 years ago. Not Auschwitz. Does that count?

“I know, she was another hypersensitive Jew. Like me.”

Word to the wise–don’t air your dirty laundry in public.

“I do realize there are many who don’t like Israel’s politics (including some Jews who are not rabid Jew haters as I can only suspect Margolis is), including many Israelis!”

Wow! I know many people who don’t like America’s politics–even many Americans!

“I would be happy to point out the complete and UTTER CRAP espoused by some of these people) on LRC that they would be quite content if Israel were to be destroyed tomorrow.

“Kinsella, you might disagree with that. You might say, “but where did anyone say that”? They don’t have to explicitly say it. It is the one country (outside of the U.S.) that is attacked over and over on LRC, and not for the foreign aid nonsense.”

Like pornography–you know it when you see it, eh?

“Ron Paul espouses that view (and yes, I know he is attacked as an anti-Semite or anti-Israel person), but Ron Paul at least says to cut out ALL foreign aid, which would include…guess who’s the 2nd largest donor recipient…those close friends of ours the Egyptians!”

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for only using single exclamation points.

“Gosh, golly, not once do I recall seeing any of the jerks on LRC mention that a whole lot of countries get huge sums of American cash also, and are SO friendly to the U.S…Egypt has TONS of pro-U.S. propaganda being spread, is a true friend of ours…but this is the kind of BULLSHIT the LRC anti-Israel crowd conveniently likes to forget in its rush to blame Israel for the world’s woes.”

When you talk like this, I feel like Marlin in Finding Nemo who says to Squirt, after he just told him in surfer-dude language how to disembark from the current–“You’re awfully cute and your lips are moving so I know you’re trying to say something, but I have no idea what it is!” (paraphrasing)

“Some of the LRC writing brings to mind the same fictional qualities of that masterpiece of anti-Jewish lit., “the Protocols of the Elders of Zion”…”

Oh my God, if I hear about this stupid fricking book one more time, I’m gonna blow my brains out. That, or the fricking “Black Panthers” and SDS.

“the ADL is so powerful, neo-con Jews are ruining the U.S. (and yes, some LRC’s did make that connection fairly obvious..that neo-con=Jew..though not all did so), Israel wants to push the U.S. to invade Iran and Syria solely for its own good (gosh, nice to know Israel is SO powerful!), the Arabs would be our best friends (and they’re nicer, too) if we’d only let Israel go…”

I may have missed something in Israel-education class… but are you implying that these views are obviously false, or that merely holding them means you are anti-semitic? What is anti-semitism for you Seriosos, anyway? I mean how do you even stay married? Surely with such hair-trigger standards, your spouse does anti-semitic things all the time, e.g. if she forgets to pick up the dry cleaning.

“If libertarianism equates with letting Arabs destroy Israel, then to hell with it.”

Nooooo! Please don’t leave us!

“But I don’t believe most libertarians believe that. I hope not. They may not like Israeli policies, and that’s another story. I have friends, Jewish, non-Jewish,”

Hey hey HEY–how come if I say I have Jewish friends, I get crap for it…? I sense a double standard here…

“You can get into long debates over what a “bigot” is,”

Or, you can just save time and accuse them of it.

“…but Roderick, Steve Horwi
tz is correct…sending people to learn about libertarianism and the idea of no-aggression against others…to read some of the truly hate-filled obnoxious screed on LRC SULLIES THE LIBERTARIAN MESSAGE.”

And my God, we don’t want to “sully” that message! It must remain unsullied! Everyone knows that!

“Why am I so worked up about this? Because at times, as I wrote above, Lew can have such incredibly SMART things to say and intellectually brilliant columnists,”

Awwww, shucks

“I’ll read one of these columns…and then read a smear piece of shit like Margolis’ latest piece or the one Murphy wrote (in his defense, Bob Murphy wrote a very nice letter to me stating that I had either misread it or had not gotten the point, and that maybe he had not gotten that point across to ME as well as he might have…and I believe him; but…Kinsella, do I need to subjected to a piece of contemptible shit like Alex Cockburn and his diatribes against Jews “using” the Holocaust?”

How are you “subjected” to it? you chose to read it, no? Are you saying there is some obligation only to publish things you agree with? Are is the crime making it easier for others to find the objectionable piece? But then you are doing it here, since I never heard of this Margolis piece–and now I’m going to look it up. Good job, sommerschein, you have helped spread his word! I guess you’re anti-semite now. I’m so confused.

“So yeah, I am hypersensitive to jerks like you who lie about Israel and its critics.”

I think that goes in the “lighten up” file.

“LRC has far too much stuff against the memory of the Holocaust (interestingly, Elie Wiesel, the author, spoke at the U.N. about how the world should remember the other horrible things going on RIGHT NOW, the murders of others, non-Jews…this was at a Holocaust rememberance event that came 60 years too late…but my, he didn’t use the Holocaust only to defend Israel or the Jews…he wanted to save the Darfur Sudanese etc. Not that anyone at LRC would ever bother to notice). The ADL is attacked…though many Jews are not supportive of it…we have to read about how 10 million Ukranians were murdered by Stalin, and how those who “promote” the Holocaust are insensitive to that, or that the Holocaust, gosh, let’s waste more time on this, wasn’t unique and quit bothering us about it…yeah, ’tis true, I care nothing about what happens to any stinking person in the whole world except Jews…heck, I give out candy when I hear about Moslems getting blammed, even by fellow Moslems as the Sunnis are doing to the Shias in Iraq (but that’ the U.S.’ fault, I forgot!)..just like the Palis do when there’s been a successful bombing of a bus in Israel…yeah, that’s us Jews. Kinsella, you’ll no doubt shoot this down, but that’s the kind of utter stupidity on LRC at times.”

I read a Primo Levi book–the Drowned and the Saved. Does that count?

“LRC loses its credibility time and again when it comes up with some of the friggin’ most lunatic hate-filled things. Again, I use the Zionist thing because it is what I am most qualified to write about. Kinsella, I can guarantee you, I have studied far more of the history of modern day Israel pre and post-state, than any of the LRC writers.”

Er… yeah, you seem like it’s your thing. You do, er, um, realize this is a … libertarian blog, no?

“I’ve been to Israel, I have friends and relatives in Israel. I do not see Israel as purely right about things, and am intellectually willing to agree that Israel at times has made tremendous mistakes.”

Tell us more about your experiences with Israel. Really.

“But the last word I’ll write on this tonight is that therein lies the problem with LRC. There is never a gray zone. Lew’s lousy columnists (again, I am not saying that everyone who writes for him…but unfortunately, it’s some of his most prolific group of authors) are purely hate-filled and see only one thing. Israel wrong, U.S. wrong, Arabs lovely, peace-like and right.”

Look–I’m not saying this is the last word or antyhing, and of course it’s in part anecdotal… but didn’t you see Lawrence of Arabia?

“Sickening stuff. If it were only about foreign aid…but even then…has one columnist ever mentioned that, Kinsella? Probably someone has, but I can’t recall it…but numerous are the articles on how foreign aid to Israel is evil and part of the neo-con plot to take over the world!”

Congrats, again, for using only one exclamation point.

I have to admit I am adopted. My name was originally Kinsellaberg. We dropped the -berg. I’m so ashamed. =sob=

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More on Diamond

As I said, for some reason into Neil Diamond lately. The lyrics to I Am, I Said are frickin’ freaking Daddy out. Especially that fifth “but”. And what does swearing have to do with being alone?

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My Bigot

Burger King Marcus had an interesting suggestion the other day. Since the hypersensitive, dimwit-Serioso libertarians and other intellectually bankrupt moral blowhards continue to label everything they don’t like as racism, bigotry, anti-semitism, etc., why not adopt a strategy from the African-American community. Blacks often refer to each other by the N-word, as in, “What up, my N__?!” We should do the same with bigot. When greeting each other, for example, we could say, “How goes it, my bigot?” Or, “Bigot–what you up to?!” Two guys tangling in a bar: “Look, bigot, get OUT MY FACE!” To your unemployed brother-in-law: “Bigot–when you gonna get a J-O-B?” If you see a fine girl, you could say, “Man, oh, man, what this bigot would do with that!” Since we are slapped with their silly, overwrought labels, let’s take it from them, make it our own! You dig, my bigot?

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Respek

Instead of the light-in-the-loafers sounding “hat tip to ….” to thank someone for a good link tip etc., I have decided to use “respek’“, from Ali G’s hilarious show. As in, “Respek’ to John D. for the link.” Respek’ means “respect,” as in, thanks, or I respect you for that, gentle sir.

Note to any Dimwit-Serioso libertarians who may be reading this–I apologize for my praise of humor. Re-SPEK!

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Trademark Scams

I received this official-looking $1450 “invoice” the other day. I have a European trademark registration pending so at first glance thought I owed this. But looking further, it’s just some stupid scam. Amazing. I bet lots of legal departments just pay it.

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Johnnie Cochran Defends Chewbacca

link. Respek to JoJo Ridenfeldt.

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Explaining Argumentation Ethics

On No Treason, a reply to Ghertner, who thinks it’s inconsistent with argumentation ethics “to use the state’s own unjust laws to defend one’s own rights”:

“Both Stephan Kinsella and Stefan are confusing libertarianism with Argumentation Ethics.”

I don’t think so. I am quite aware of the diff. The latter is just one proposed way of justifying the rights that underlie or are assumed by the former.

“Of course, no one disputes that it is perfectly libertarian to use the state’s own unjust laws to defend one’s own rights. What is in dispute is whether one can do this in accordance with AE, that is, make an argument in favor of a proposition that one simultaneously rejects on other grounds, without committing a performative contradiction”

See, this is your mistake. What does it mean to do something “in accordance” w/ AE? AE is NOT libertarianism, or even a code of conduct, as you seem to imply here. YOu are the one conflating them. AE does not “prevent” you from engaging in performative contradictions! It does not even say that this is *necessarily immoral*. It only says that a performative contradiction *shows that* the propositions being asserted cannot both be true, since one of them contradicts the others. This happens to be relevant *when one is trying to establish what rights there are*. Because if one asserts A is true, and it is a contradiction, then it cannot be true. Etc. And to the extent we care about what is true–about RIGHTS–then AE is relevant.

But let’s take another example. Suppose A kidnaps my wife. He tells me he will release her but only if I mouth the words, “I do not exist.” Now, if I utter these words, I am engaging in a performative contradiction, true. But so what? All that this means is that my assertion is not, and cannot be, true–it contradicts the fact that i have to exist just to utter it. BUt who gives a flying crap? My goal is NOT TO UTTER SOMETHING TRUE BUT TO GET MY WIFE BACK.

So could you say I am not acting “in accordance with AE” here? Of course not. THat would make no sense. AE is just a justifying technique. Sometimes you use it, sometimes not. It’s not somethign you act in accordance with–that owuld be NORMS, which is what rightgs/libertarianism embodies, a set of rules or norms, that you ought to act in accordance with. AE just shows *why* libertarianism is true.

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Yet another reply to Khawaja

[Update:

see:

Khwawaja now explicitly admits he’s not libertarian (or Objectivist). Something to do with “Palestine” or some other bullshit.

See e.g.

It’s easy to overlook the significance of one last part of the subtitle. Reason Papers is a journal of normative interdisciplinary studies. Both “journal” and “studies” connote objective academic scholarship, a connotation we wholeheartedly endorse without excluding journalists or independent scholars. It’s worth stressing, then, that while Reason Papers has often published work from an Objectivist or libertarian perspective, Reason Papers is not an Objectivist or libertarian journal, or for that matter, a journal edited for conformity with any particular philosophical or ideological perspective.3 We think of the journal as a forum for inquiry and debate across a wide spectrum of views rather than as the instrument of any one ideology, party, or camp.
3 We thus disagree with the characterization of the journal offered by Walter E. Block in his “Austro-Libertarian Publishing: A Survey and Critique,” Reason Papers 32 (Fall 2010), pp. 107-35. See, e.g., p. 130, where the journal is described as “dedicated to libertarianism,” and p. 133, where it is described as “mostly libertarian.”
As he wrote in this Facebook thread:
I haven’t been associated with Kelley’s group or organized Objectivism since 1997. I did a seminar with them in 2013 which was a fiasco. I don’t regard myself as an Objectivist or libertarian, and was never really sold on libertarian politics even when I was an Objectivist. Much less so now. The cartoons can be seen on the link below. They’re an innovation of Jennifer Grossman, who took over after Kelley. I find them mortifying, but it’s been ages since I had a motivation to care. https://www.atlassociety.org

]

[with a few links added]

“Sorry, but there simply is no moral equivalence between Kinsella’s invective and my responses to them.”

As everyone knows, a response to invective is never equivalent to the invective. This is self-evident!

“There is first the simple fact that in every single case without exception, he has been the one to resort to invective and done so first, and in every case, I have merely responded in what I take to be an appropriately forceful way.”

Well, this is just a question of “who started it”. As I see it, personal attacks were hurled by you guys at Hoppe. I have defended him; and for doing so, haven been accused of being a bigot myself. Interesting tactic: try to make the target of bigotry accusations look bad for denying it; and make others afraid to defend him for fear of being hauled before the Thought Police Tribunal. Luckily, some of us have no fear of the last gasps of a dying political correctness.

“And while I’m not going to re-argue every post (actually, I’m not going to re-argue anyone of them: once was more than enough), I would also say that the quality of my rhetoric and my arguments exceeds his by a fair measure–again, in every single case without exception.”

I’d say only by about 28%. Whether that’s a “fair measure,” I don’t know. But don’t my degrees outweigh that anyway?

“There was not one case in which I responded to him hastily or in uncontrolled anger.”

Me neither–I’m not angry. These are just pixels, after all.

“And there’s not one post that I regret having written. Compare that with the endless proliferation of weirdly giddy responses from him (rarely on anything of relevance to the original claim I made in a thread, which in the present case, if anyone cares to remember, was the rather terse message “Bravo. Very well said,” intended for Jason Kuznicki). Question: WHICH of us is out of control?”

I guess I just don’t see reacting to the High Seriousness of the Grand Inquisitors with ridicule and humor is out of control.

“In one case, he’s accused Tom Palmer of endorsing “torture.””

No, not endorsing it; of toying with the idea. As torture includes physical and mental abuse, and as mental abuse was what he was talking about…

“The claim was/is a brazen lie; I called it one there, I repeat the claim here, and I’m pretty sure Tom would agree with my assessment.”

Oh, I’ll grant you that one.

“But I wonder: have I done anything comparable to the website “Palmer Periscope,” which is a WHOLE WEBSITE devoted exclusively to attacks on and the defamation of one person?”

PP is not defamatory. It’s not defamation to criticize or even poke fun at someone. Anyway, I had nothing to do with it. I just learned about its existence, and posted first on it after Palmer cut off responses to a given thread.

“You’ll note the sly use of pastel colors, e.g., lavender and the like. Is it accidental that the site is in pastel colors, while the issue of Tom’s sexual orientation has been so prominently at issue? Oh well; maybe it is.”

First, I had nothing to do w/ that. Second, I think it’s homophobic to realize that pastel colors are associated wiht homosexuality. How dare you notice that? (just kidding)

“This is the site at which Kinsella described Tom as endorsing torture, but there were a series of similarly mendacious claims on Tom’s website before Tom eventually banned Kinsella (Tom: what took you so long?).”

I am not responsible for others’ claims. This is a simple matter. On Palmer’s site, he recounted this:

“The inquiry uncovered numerous instances in which female interrogators, using dye, pretended to spread menstrual blood on Muslim men, the official said. Separately, in court papers and public statements, three detainees say that women smeared them with blood.” And he said: “is it out of bounds to threaten such a humiliation if the information you get might break up a terrorist cell? It’s shocking. It’s degrading. It’s disgusting. Is it immoral? It’s not obvious to me what the answer to the last question is.”

Now, I don’t think this is endorsing torture; but it’s wondering about whether mental humiliation and things like the menstrual blood tectics can be justified. This is not physical torture but it is a type of mental or psycological abuse. And I believe it arguably falls under the definition of torture endorsed by relevant treaties. [e.g., as I pointed out previously, the Geneva Conventions prohibit “torture of all kinds, whether physical or mental” (Art. 75(2) of Protocol I)]

What I said about this was: “What is also remarkable about Palmer’s criticism of Rockwell’s views about proportionate beatings of actual street criminals — is that it appears in a post in which Palmer himself muses about whether torture of possibly innocent foreign prisoners of a unjust and illegal war is possibly moral! I.e., in a column where he dabbles with justifying torture he dares to criticize Rockwell’s defense of non-lethal, non-torture force used to apprehend an actual street criminal resisting arrest”

Now, I did not say Palmer endorses torture; I said he “muses about whether torture of possibly innocent foreign prisoners of a unjust and illegal war is possibly moral”. I did not say physical torture; perhaps I should have said “mental/pschological abuse defined as a type of torture under relevant treaties,” to make the term “torture” clear, but it was not a lie. You may disagree with me but I did not lie. I was pointing out how odd it is to feign outrage over someone advocating proportional punishment against an ACTUAL criminal, when one is not sure if (mental) torture of (possibly innocent) foreign POWs of an illegal war is immoral.

You can disagree with my view that this is hypocritical or odd; but it is not a lie. I described what was said, and then opined about it.

“So let me ask you bluntly: what is your moral evaluation of a site like Palmer Periscope, and of the person(s) behind it?”

I suspect it was set up by people annoyed by Palmer’s sanctimony and faux-righteousness and political correctness, but I have no idea. In any event I am not responsible for nor to blame for it. If you blame me merely for posting on it–well, you, Khawaja, ALSO posted on it. So is your claim coherent?

“Have I said anything comparable to Kinsella’s description of me (itself based on a comical set of mis-inferences) to the effect that I have “clannish” tendencies? This old anti-Semitic chestnut isn’t much better when it’s directed at a (supposed) Muslim than when directed at Jews.”

Oh, for God’s sake, here we go with the anti-semitic stuff again. I can’t reply to this nonsense.

“And what was the evidence for Kinsella’s assumption that I would object to my (hypothetical) son’s marrying a Jew?”

You have to have evidence for questions now? Teh PC types just make up the rules as they go along, don’t they?

“His claim on that count explicitly takes the form: IK sounds like he’s a Muslim; all Muslims, being clannish, hate Jews; so if IK had children, he would follow his clannish propensities in not permitting his children to marry a Jew. Hmm. Well, considering that my partner IS a Jew, and that I’ve probably done more to fight Muslim anti-Semitism than StephAn Kinsella will in his sorry lifespan, this strikes me as not the sort of claim I’m obliged to receive with equanimity.”

I think self-righteousness like this doesn’t really work any more. Just an observation.

“So I am not merely “chiding” someone
‘s overheated rhetoric. I am objecting forcefully to systematic, sustained defamation of a friend of mine (and, well, of me: but I’m a friend of mine, too). The claims that have been aimed at Tom throughout this discussion–their substance and style–are simply an obscenity.”

Right–How DARE someone challenge the character of a your good frien’ds challenging my own good friend’s character? Why, the audacity…! the impertinence! AFter alll, you are on the PC side, not us! We are supposed to just lie down and take our medicine.

“That is why, incidentally, I told Rick Shenkman that he ought to look into banning Kinsella from HNN–a claim I hereby renew.”

So noted. I second that motion. All in favor?

“L&P; has essentially become a forum for a smear merchant (dragging HNN into the bargain). Meanwhile, we’re obliged to pretend that Kinsella’s ravings are all part of the “conversation,” and we should all just put up with the sporadic “excesses” of an oddball guy with a few eccentricities.”

I’m “just” an “oddball”. The PC crowd continually comes up with more and more desperate tactics as the wall of PC continues to crumble. Just dismiss someone as an oddball… there’s a good one.

***

[Followup reply:]

Irfan, re Roderick’s calls for civility (I hope that does not make him a bigot in your eyes, but one never knows), engage in a thought experiment with me.

Let’s say you and I find ourselves seated next to each other, by random coincidence, on a plane. Do you think we’d talk? make up? Become friends? Okay, suppose we ignored each other with dirty looks and wrinkled nose. Now the plane crashes and you and I are the sole survivors on a desert island. I daresay that in short order we’d be fast friends. Who knows maybe even–some day–lovers.

So Khawaja and Kinsella live together in peace and survive against the odds for a year. Then we is rescued. Would you go back to these kind of comments and attitudes about me on L&P; list?

Interesting gedankenexperiment, no?

p.s. just kidding about the “lovers” part.

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Malorific

A new word I coined in discoursing (sic) with Tom Palmer: malorific, meaning sort of like a bad version of terrific; malevolent, horrible, bad.

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Sex is for FAGS

Hilarious site promoting “abstinence-only coolness for boys.” (respek to Fulwiler)

The Sex-is-for-Fags Abstinence-Only pledge is hilarious, almost The Onion-ish in its brilliance:

I, [MY NAME], hereby pledge:

1. To stay massively cool by not having sex. Because only major losers have sex – which everyone knows is only for fags.

2. To never let any slutty girls peer pressure me into touching their vaginas – because vaginas are totally gay.

3. To ignore my raging hormones and burning drive to fondle, suckle, and thrust furiously into a hot gooey pit of creamy-soft fleshy ecstasy.

4. To keep my groinal giblets inside my GAP khakis, and to punch those sweaty bits into submission whenever they percolate with desire.

5. To never spill my sacred “dude milk” – unless it is inside of some hot babe who already married me and took my last name.

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I’m no fag or anything, but…

I’ve been listening to the heck out of Neil Diamond lately. That I Am, I Said, is one baaaad song! wow. I can’t stop singing it, and Sweet Caroline.

Soon, I’ll go back to my Pink Floyd, Yngwie Malmsteen, Rush, and Zebra staples.

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Homer Simpson is a Genius

Tim Swanson’s blog posts this conversation between Homer and Lisa Simpson:

Homer Simpson: Not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm.
Lisa Simpson: That’s specious reasoning, Dad.
Homer: Thank you, dear.
Lisa: By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away.
Homer: Oh, how does it work?
Lisa: It doesn’t work.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: It’s just a stupid rock.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: But I don’t see any tigers around, do you?
[Homer thinks of this, then pulls out some money]
Homer: Lisa, I want to buy your rock.
[Lisa refuses at first, then takes the exchange]

What is beautiful about this is the way Homer is talking is the way I sometimes argue with people I find annoying or not worth taking seriously. I just eff with them big time, play dumb, confuse them, ask bizarre questions, change the subject, etc. It’s fun. I am Homer Simpson!

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